The past few days have been filled with great thought. Ive been examining my life. Im not happy with where i am at but then again at the same time i realize that i am. Im not happy with the fact that i feel like ive been a horible witness of God. And yet with that shame I find myself happy that i see where I'm at and know to get real and to seek God more with where i should be. I know that i don't have to live in shame. And i don't think i am; rather i am in lament for how Ive acted. I think a lot of people would tell me to snap out of this lamentation but i feel i need to be in it cause if i don't experiance it then ill just ignore my shame and keep acting in the way that i have all along.
You see, Ive come to a breaking in my heart again. Ive been broken before; this Isn't the first time, nor will it probably be the last. My heart is aching for more of God. For Him to become more real and alive in my life! But Ive done nothing to encourage my desire to know him...no praying...no reading of the word...no church...nothing! How can I expect to get to know him more when i do nothing but ache and just sit in my ache.
Make sence to you? i hope it does and i hope I'm not confusing.
Anyways, Ive been getting down on myself today and i know that i need to pray and to press into God in times like these. So tonight Im pressing in, in prayer and meditaion.
You see, Ive come to a breaking in my heart again. Ive been broken before; this Isn't the first time, nor will it probably be the last. My heart is aching for more of God. For Him to become more real and alive in my life! But Ive done nothing to encourage my desire to know him...no praying...no reading of the word...no church...nothing! How can I expect to get to know him more when i do nothing but ache and just sit in my ache.
Make sence to you? i hope it does and i hope I'm not confusing.
Anyways, Ive been getting down on myself today and i know that i need to pray and to press into God in times like these. So tonight Im pressing in, in prayer and meditaion.
posted by Unknown at 6:15 PM
2 Comments:
joj, I'll bee praying that this renewing time will be sweet and that the Lord will challenge you in the relationship He has with you. Remember He just Want to Spend time with you and talk and hear about your life and what He has laid on your heart!
it's amazing i think, that this God of ours that created everything would want to know each of us intimately, to know our names.
He wants to hear from you as often as possible, but i think He understands when we are slow to respond or keep up our end of the conversation.
if he were an angry God we would never hear the end of it, He would berate us all the time. but instead He is a God of love, one who waits for us to find him. He is patient but thankfully, He is also persistent.
God has had to smack me over the head a few times, so to speak, in His persistence. I am thankful that His Spirit has been working in me all along and never let me go, even when i was at my worst.
i sense that His Spirit is working within you or you would not feel this urge to seek Him.
Keep it up kid, and the photos are awesome btw
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